Monday, October 13, 2008

Fried Motherboard, MMMMMM....

Caller: I would like to cancel my service.

Tech:
And the reason for the cancellation?

Caller:
I just fried my motherboard.


-Contributed By: Dave

New Ink

Caller: I changed the ink in my printer and now my modem won't connect.

(No comment needed....)

Outlook into Hibernation

Tech: Ok, now I need you to open up Outlook.

Caller:
Ok.

*There is a short pause*

Caller:
...uh oh, now it says that Windows is preparing to hibernate.


-Contributed By: Dave

No Dial Tone

Caller: My computer is saying that it does not have a dial tone

Tech:
Then it sounds like we might want to check the phone cord, or you could have a bad modem.

Caller:
So it wouldn't help if I defragmatized it?


-Contributed By: Dave

Inverted or Turned Around?

OK, now on this call, I can only hope that the caller had a Mighty-Mouse for her Mac. If you have a Mac, and use a Mighty-Mouse, then you should understand, if you don't, then just do a quick Google search for a Mighty-Mouse and look at their design, and then you should understand as well. Now I will say in advance, that I like Macs, I really do, but sometimes we get callers.....that I honestly have to wonder.....do they even try?


Tech:
Thank you for calling customer support. How may I help you?

Caller:
Ah yes, I can't get my mouse to work. It won't click, and when I move it, it goes in the wrong direction.

Caller:
Also, I am a little green with computers, and I have Mac.

*Call carries on for about 2 minutes*

Tech:
OK, ma'am, when you move the mouse, tell me exactly what happens to the little arrow on the screen.

Caller:
Well, when I move the mouse left, the little arrow goes right. When I move it right, the little arrow goes left. When I move the mouse down, the little arrow goes up, and when I move the mouse up, the little arrow goes down.

Tech:
OK, and when you click the mouse, can you actually hear and feel the mouse click?

Caller:
No. But when I click on the back of the mouse, I hear it click.

Tech:
OK, and what end of the mouse is the cord coming out of.

Caller:
The back.

Tech:
OK, ma'am, what I am going to need you to do is turn the mouse around so that the cord comes out the front.

Caller:
Oh, the cord comes out the front?

*Short pause while caller turns the mouse around*

Caller:
Oh, look at that, it works now. Thank you.

Tech:
Your welcome.

Caller:
Good-bye

Tech:
Good-bye

*After call ends, Tech laughs hysterically*


-Contributed By: Dave

Repetition Killed The Tech

Tech: Ok, see where it says, "Home Page"?

Caller:
Yes, I see it.

Tech:
Ok, then I need you to type in this address, and this does not need to have "www" in front of it.

*Tech calls out the home page address*

Caller:
Do I need to type in "www"?

Tech:
No sir.


-Contributed By: Dave

Joined The Internet

Tech: Thank you for calling customer support, how may I help you?

Caller:
Ah yes, this is (customer), I joined the Internet yesterday and I am now trying to send an e-mail...but whenever I try, this "Microsoft Internet Explosion" thing comes up with all sorts of screens.


-Contributed By: Dave